


Four times John had to erase his voicemail because of Sherlock and one time it was the other way round.

by pulangaraw



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-12
Updated: 2010-09-12
Packaged: 2017-10-11 16:47:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/114510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pulangaraw/pseuds/pulangaraw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What is says in the title.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four times John had to erase his voicemail because of Sherlock and one time it was the other way round.

1.

"Are you aware that someone else is speaking your voicemail message?" Harry says.

John looks up from his burger. "What?"

"I think it's this guy you live with, Sherling? He's put a strange message on your voicemail." She takes a drink from her coke. John isn't sure if he's supposed to be impressed by the fact that she's ordered something non-alcoholic.

"His name's Sherlock," he corrects her automatically. He takes out his mobile and calls his own voicemail.

_"John Watson's voicemail. Obviously he's not answering his phone at the moment, Donovan. Stop harassing him. Also, 'deducting' is not the same as 'deducing'. I have been reliably informed that Amazon has a nice range of thesauruses available for purchase."_

"What the heck," John says and flicks his phone shut. He and Sherlock were going to have a talk about appropriate flatmate behaviour as soon as he got home.

 

2.  
"I thought you were trying to work things out with your sister?" Sarah says, standing in the doorway to John's office.

He looks up from his patient file. "Yes, why?"

"Well, judging from the voicemail on your phone it's not going to happen anytime soon."

John groans. "What has he done now?"

Sarah winks at him. "You really should try to keep him more under control, you know. Two grown men..." She shakes her head, turns and walks away. John can hear her laughing halfway down the hallway. He dials his voicemail.

_"John Watson's voicemail. Hello Harry. Please refrain from calling John at three in the morning just because you are too stupid to keep enough change for a taxi after getting drunk. He's not your chauffeur."_

"Dammit," John curses under his breath. This was getting ridiculous.

 

3.

"You can tell my brother that I will not be intimidated by his childish threats."

John spins around, does a double take. He's standing in line at the supermarket, already dreading his next encounter with the automatic check out and there is Mycroft, suddenly standing right behind him. He couldn't look more out of place if he was wearing a clown costume to the opera.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," John says.

"You really shouldn't leave your phone lying around like that," Mycroft says in lieu of an answer. "Who knows what kind of bill my dear brother will run up. If you're not careful, you'll have to accept my offer."

John closes his eyes in resignation. He wonders if he could sue the Holmes' brothers for the nervous breakdown he'll soon have if they keep going like that. When he opens his eyes again, Mycroft is gone and for a moment John wonders if he's only hallucinated the encounter. But there's still the faint whiff of Mycroft's expensive aftershave in the air. Must have been real after all.

Expecting the worst, he takes out his phone to check his voicemail message.

_"John Watson's voicemail. This is it, Mycroft. Stop interfering with my cases. Otherwise I will have to tell your secretary where you keep the Cadbury Cream Eggs."_

\----

"Sherlock," John shouts, the moment he's back in the flat.

"Yes," comes the world-weary answer from the direction of the sofa.

John stops in front of it, looming over Sherlock's outstretched form. "You've got to stop changing my voicemail message. Do you have any idea how that makes me look to people?"

"I wasn't aware that they can see you when they're phoning you."

John takes a deep breath. "Stop pretending to be stupid, it doesn't suit you."

Sherlock turns his head and grins up at John. "But it's so much easier to leave those messages on your phone. People never call me."

"I wonder why," John says dryly. But he can't stop the smile that's tugging at the corners of his lips. "I take it you are bored again?"

There's a sparkle in Sherlock's eyes now. "Yes. So very bored. Care to do something about it?"

 

4.

_"This is John Watson's voicemail. He cannot answer his phone right now because he is on a very important assignment. In the bedroom. Feel free to not leave a message and don't call back."_

"I can't believe you actually left this message on my phone," John says.

Sherlock looks at him innocently. "I only stated the facts."

John presses the repeat button for received messages.

"Oh my god, I _knew it_." Donovan's voice crows, followed by Lestrade's resigned, "Who didn't?"

Sherlock looks inordinately pleased with himself. John makes it his very important assignment to wipe the smugness off his face. In the bedroom.

 

5.

_"Oh god, John. You're a genius."_

John grins as he saves the message. It had been easier than he'd initially thought to get the recording. He's not sure how long his own nerves will hold out before he deletes it again himself, but he's determined to try his best to wait until Sherlock's noticed what he's done.

\----

They're meeting Lestrade at yet another crime scene and John can see it from the grin spreading across the Inspector's face when he sees them that he's heard the message. John can't help grinning back, even though there's a small voice whispering _oh my god, he knows_ in the back of his head. But Lestrade's known for a long time now - he isn't half as stupid as Sherlock likes to make him sound.

"I hear you've finally met your match," Lestrade greets Sherlock.

This earns him a confused look, and that alone makes it worth it, John thinks. "Excuse me?"

Lestrade nods towards John, badly disguising his amusement. "Checked your voicemail message recently?"

Sherlock turns to glare at John. "What have you done?"

 

The End.


End file.
